Re: Post #976
Great question, Master Greg, on how to tell the "players" from those who really are slave, Post #976.
I don't need to remind anyone that this isn't an easy question, and that everyone is going to have a different answer based on their experience and their ability to accurately judge others.
The biggest confusion I personally had to overcome was the difference between BEING slave, being READY to become slave and being WILLING to become slave. The original question asked here I think is mostly about the BEING slave. I think this is the easiest to determine.
Normally, within 20 minutes of beginning active slave development, normally with a flogger, it can be determined whether someone was created to be slave. When flogging with the intention of slave development, a slave will either begin to experience a sense of "coming home" or won't understand what is going on. The distinction is very clear, and the slave itself will experience the answer. Concluding through experience means that the slave doesn't have anyone to argue with, and is forced to accept the answer to its experience.
This is the point at which I used to erroneously assume that because someone was clearly slave that they wanted to become slave and were ready to begin. Absolutely not true! Answering whether someone IS slave ONLY answers the question about whether or not they really are slave.
One technique I personally use to determine whether a slave wants to begin a process in which they can implement their slavery is to not allow them to arrange another meeting before they have returned to their current environment. Only after considering what the potential slave wants to do in the "light of day" is it allowed to arrange a second meeting.
Players won't tolerate this kind of reality because they only want to negotiate the fun they want to have and don't want anything to interfere with what they want. Most "players" will actually become angry at not being able to demand their next experience. Their anger is a clear indication of their "play" status.
Answering the second question about whether they are ready to become slave is one of assessing where the potential slave is in life. Each potential slave has to be mature enough to know that they can achieve life’s common goals without having an Owner and have demonstrated their ability to do so. The common goals are, of course, financial, professional, interpersonal, family, social, intimacy, etc. Anyone who is trying to avoid these challenges through slavery to becoming egotistically successful isn’t ready to become slave. Those who aren’t mature enough for slavery still think that life has short-cuts and will leave when they discover that their Owner won’t work to allow their misconceptions to become reality.
Almost all Master/slave relationships end, in My experience, from an Owner’s failure to satisfy the fantasy expectations of demanding slaves. For the slave “players”, the ideal situation is an Owner who will support the slave by day, and then entertain the slave exactly in the manner it wants to be at night. In that circumstance, the slave offers nothing. The Owner is paying with board and room for slave service, that the slave wants to give anyway. When a slave offers to do what it already wants to do there is no gift involved and the slave is “stealing” from any such Owner. That doesn’t preclude a slave “player” from making play arrangements with Master “players”. That, however, isn’t the point nor the purpose of this group, but is explicitly the purpose of many others groups and sites.
Finally, to the third question. Is the slave willing to become slave? Slavery, like every destiny, involves committing our lives through obedience. That is the life-long struggle and explicit purpose of our life. There is no simple answer to this biggest life question. How we get through that question is the support we provide here to each other while we pursue this question.
Over and over, we have each learned that until we have a healthy ego we don’t have anything to give in acceptance of our authentic lives. When we have consciously committed ourselves to becoming authentic no matter what the consequences, especially to our egos, our real life and only potential for happiness begins.
To determine where someone is in this regards to this third question simply ask yourself whether the arguments you make to your friends, family, and here within the group keep you more locked in place, maintaining the present situation or whether our arguments invite and require change, movement, and therefore, growth. When we use our intellectual powers to stay stuck the answer is “no” to being willing to become slave. Once we make a commitment to being authentic, then our powers are used only to determine the best course of action given all the alternatives we have to growing into being authentic.
To finding all the “Yes’s” in our lives, to these three questions and many more.