OUR SPIRIT DOESN'T CARE WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS, IT DOESN'T
EVEN CARE WHAT WE THINK
With experience I developed technical and psychological
expertise. I could use hoods, blindfolds, floggers, tight restraints,
ropes, tit and cock-and-ball torture devices, dildos and electrical
stimulation devices all without losing my partner's confidence or destroying
their sexual excitement. I was consistently capable of facilitating
entertaining, diverse and cathartic physical, emotional and even spiritual
I had figured out the magic combination to my sexuality.
Yet, though the sexual play was fantastic, there was
still something missing. When I complained, it was heard as a prayer.
The answer came through a series of seismic confrontations that literally
tore my life apart,. They left me with a new calling, requiring consciousness
of the moral implications of my every action, demanding full integration
of my sexuality and spirituality, and insisting that I adopt the controversial
spiritual name "SlaveMaster."
My sexual fetishes had seduced me into accepting a
destiny of locating and empowering others to accept their destinies
through a disciplined spiritual practice called "slavery"
which employs the use of SM devices. The myth of SM is that the perfect
pairing is a sadist, who likes to inflict pain, and a masochist, who
enjoys pain. This is false. A true sadist only enjoys inflicting pain
when there is no consent. Therefore, no sadist would ever waste time
with someone who wanted the pain. Masochists are foremost characterized
by their controlling natures. They control their relationships so that
they gain what they seek from the "pain giver." No sadist
would ever agree to the controlling conditions a masochist demands.
Therefore, by their nature, sadists and masochists are mutually exclusive
personalities. In contemporary leather/SM culture, SM is regarded as
a mutually consensual exchange of power. Negotiation of limits and the
communication of signals and "safe words" are established
in advance so that egotistic control by the participants is maintained.
The purpose of my practice is to produce spiritual evolution
– permanent change, not simply an experience. Authentic spiritual
growth never comes from experiences that the ego can predict or control.
So to empower destiny, I create situations that go beyond the "safety"
of SM and demand a surrender of the very egotistic controls that allow
us to feel safe.
Experience has taught me that to create the possibility of
spiritual evolution, two conditions, which are inappropriate for traditional
SM play, are necessary. First, there must be mutual agreement that neither
the giver nor the receiver will manipulate the experience. Preparing
for this requires a discernment process that uncovers any hidden agenda,
expectation or malice. The intention must be to freely and willingly
deliver and receive as a gift, whatever experience and information the
spirit presents, no matter what that is. Spiritual evolution cannot
occur without this. Second, and more important, informed moral consent
is required. Moral consent isn't possible without adequate information.
It requires abandoning egotistically identifiable expectations and objectives,
and agreeing to the possibility of being permanently spiritually altered
by the experience.
When both intention and moral consent are present, the devises
of SM provide a powerful, efficient tool for focusing full attention
on the present moment. Thoughts of what happened yesterday, what your
father did to you 30 years ago or what might happen tomorrow at work
fade from consciousness as the flogger or paddle insistently returns,
like life, without allowing you any control over when, how or how hard.
When these devices are wielded with conscious spiritual
intent and from a place of love, surrendering to their power simultaneously
holds us in the present, fills us with love and teaches us how to embrace
life on life's terms, without weakness. Perhaps most important, the
experience can dissolve the fears and distractions which distort our
perceptions and cloud our thinking, and give us the courage and clarity
to take the necessary steps required to complete the psycho-spiritual
process of integration.